Welcome back! Last week I talked about the events of JLA: Tower of Babel in which it was revealed that Batman had strategies to take down each member of the Justice League of America. Today we're going to discuss what Batman would do in a similar situation, except this time against the Avengers!
Ok, so let's put Batman in a similar situation he had in Tower of Babel. We'll say that there's some reason that Batman needs to take out the Avengers in a "for the greater good" situation. He has no deadline and so has all the time necessary to plan and execute those plans.
Just like the Justice League of America, the Avengers have a long list of members that I can pick and choose from. We'll go with a somewhat classic line up: Captain America, Iron Man, Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch, Thor, Falcon, and the Hulk.
So obviously Batman could never take the Avengers on directly. In fact, at least two of the Avengers would DESTROY Batman in a one on one confrontation, and there are super strong arguments for several more Avengers that could give Batman a hell of a hard time. So Batman needs a strategy that targets each Avenger individually. So that means separating them. Let's say these are the Avengers that are on active duty and so they are free to leave Avengers Tower freely, but are just a button press away from alerting the rest of the team for backup.
For this scenario I'm going to say that Batman and Bruce Wayne exist in the same universe as the Avengers. Batman has full access to his gadgets, billions of dollars, vehicles, and arsenal in the Batcave.
OK, so because of their ability to alert their team so quickly, Batman would target the strongest team members first in order to keep them from being called in. In order for Batman's plans to work completely, he needs to avoid any instance of facing two Avengers at the same time. And so most of his actions must be from the distance, so as to not give away the fact that there's an attack on the team. If the Avengers are able to get together and figure out what is happening, then Batman needs to make sure that he can face them physically. I mean right? Who wants to fight Hulk or Thor if they don't have to? I wouldn't.
So here's how Batman would take them out:
Hulk - having been able to thoroughly research the Hulk. Which wouldn't be very difficult. A lot of Bruce Banner's tragic life as the Hulk is widely known publicly within the Marvel Universe. So Batman wouldn't have to dig too deep to find out how Banner became the Hulk. Discovering that Banner's transformation is triggered by an emotional reaction, Batman would then create some kind of drug that targeted the amygdala and hippocampus. The two parts of your brain that involve emotions. The substance would keep Banner in a calm state that would worsen to where he falls into a coma. Once immobilized, Banner would be able to be revived, but only once the knowledge of what was causing this was obtained. So Batman could release that information whenever he wanted.
Only question here is, how does he get this substance in the Hulk's body? Well, easy enough. Batman gets into Banner's lab and adds the drug to whatever Banner's water source is. He'd probably even drug a couple different things in order to ensure that Banner drank it.
The results would happen over time, say within 2-3 days. Then Banner would eventually collapse and be hospitalized.
Thor - I think Batman would have to approach Thor much like he would Wonder Woman. He would need to exploit the negative aspects of Thor's personality. Tick away at his ego and use his competitiveness against him. So what if Batman started sending messages as another person, and catfishes Thor? Hahaha I don't mean like the MTV show necessarily, but more like he creates a persona that really pisses off Thor. Enraging him enough as to challenge Batman to open combat. Batman, as this other persona, would accept (with conditions of course) and Thor would fly off to wherever Batman told him to go. Thor would be so mad that he wouldn't stop to think of what he's doing.
Once Thor arrives he finds himself inside a labyrinth, where obstacles keep Thor distracted and angry. While working his way through the maze, Batman would be monitoring his progress, and at just the right time would fire off a series of gizmos designed to disorient Thor. High powered sonic sound waves blasted at him from two sides, sudden bright blinking lights. The idea would be to force Thor to drop his hammer. Once that happens, Batman would enter to blindfold, gag, and bind Thor with a chain made of vibranium. In order to keep Thor from reaching for his hammer, Batman would remove Thor from the room while keeping up with the disorienting tactics. Basically he would keep Thor locked up like he was kidnapped and awaiting ransom.
Iron Man - as Bruce Wayne, Batman would be able to get very close to Tony Stark. He might even be given a tour of Avengers Tower! I think Batman would manipulate Stark easy enough to make him give a tour. While on the tour, Batman would find an opportunity to attach a computer "bug" onto a Stark tech terminal. Since Tony Stark is the developer of the most advanced tech on the planet, Batman's own tech would have to be from off the planet. This would also be a way for Batman to hide his tracks.
So let's say that this alien computer virus infects all of Stark's tech, rendering all of his armors useless. That just leaves a physical confrontation between the two. Obviously Batman wins that one, but I think for story's sake he would probably use whatever friendship he created with Tony Stark as a weapon.
Captain America - this would be another case of using a character's personality against them. Steve Rogers believes in fighting for what's right, and protecting his friends and country. I think Batman would leave very small clues for Cap alluding to a possible attack on the country or the Avengers. From there he would just send Cap on a wild goose chase that eventually takes him off planet and therefore absent for the rest of Batman's plan as it unfolds.
Scarlet Witch - Wanda is very dangerous. She is immensely powerful and also can become mentally unstable. Knowing of what possibilities could come from manipulating Wanda's mental problems, Batman would stay far away from that. So this one is solved with a gadget. As long as Batman can avoid Wanda sensing his presence, or even if she did the plan would be to lure her into a trap where she is knocked unconscious. Then bound and gagged and kept unconscious.
Hawkeye - This is the last Avenger that Batman would have to worry about being called in as backup. Batman has faced a shooter like Hawkeye many times in Deadshot. BUT Hawkeye is at a different level. Hawkeye's abilities are so good that they toe the line at superhuman. He is 100% deadly accurate ALL THE TIME. So, Batman needs to get up close and personal. Using his ninja skills, Batman would get Hawkeye isolated and positioned exactly where he wanted. From there Batman attacks. Hawkeye's fighting skills are great, and so he'd be able to keep up with Batman's attack, but it wouldn't take long for Batman to make his big moves. Those moves are breaking every bone in Hawkeye's arms, taking away any chance he has of using a ranged weapon. Brutal I know, but imagine that scene!
Last and least there's Falcon. I think Batman openly reveals himself at this point. Maybe Falcon even arrives just as Batman finishes off Hawkeye. The fight would be a decent one, with Batman eventually beating Falcon with a combo of gadgets and fists.
I'm sure there's plenty of ways to argue against me, but remember that this is a comic book situation. So science and logic and the laws of physics even need to be thrown out the window.
I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it. Be sure to come back next week for PART 3 when we find out WHAT WOULD BATMAN DO...AGAINST THE X-MEN!!!
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