FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!!

WELCOME TO THE FIRST IN (what I hope to make) A NEW WEEKLY SERIES! FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS! Yes, I know it's Friday afternoon, but CLOSE ENOUGH! Each week I will feature 2 super heroes or villains from nearly any universe in a fight to the end. Not necessarily death, but just til one is knocked out or immobilized.

This week's battle comes from the first episode of The Good Shit podcast (now available on soundcloud). My co-host and best bud, Jimmy Nonas, suggested I write out a fight between Darth Vader vs. Jean Grey. Yeah, crazy right! I'll start by giving an overview of both characters.

Darth Vader

The evil Lord of the Sith, Master of the Dark Side of the Force, the one the prophesies spoke of that would bring balance to the Force. And he does. Twice! Once when he (as the most effective) Jedi killer in the galaxy and as a Sith Lord when he overcame the Emperor's influence & power and tossed him over the railing! Vader is THE most powerful Jedi/Sith. Yes, I am aware of the many other force users that aren't shown in the movies blah blah blah. If you are one of those people that think there are stronger force users in the Star Wars Universe, then you are a crazy person that I would love to talk to. We all know Vader, we know that he is a MASTER force user. Vader is cold, and calculating. In a recent Darth Vader comic book series titled VADER DOWN, he faced an army of Rebels and was the only one left standing. In the movies, he force choked a dude from ACROSS THE FREAKING GALAXY! He can use his force telekinesis without moving his body, not even Yoda or Darth Sidious (the Emperor) could do that! Then, after he died saving Luke and balancing the Force again, he joined Obi Wan Kenobi and Yoda on the astral plane without anyone to guide him or teach him how (Yoda taught Obi Wan how to hear Qui-Gon Jinn, who would then teach Obi Wan how to reach the astral plane and achieve immortality). Obi Wan mentions this to Darth Vader in Episode IV: A New Hope right before Vader strikes him down. With only THAT piece of information, Vader taught himself the secret to immortality. Wowzers.

Jean Grey
Jean's powers are almost the same as a Jedi but with one added bonus. Instead of being able to use telekinesis and move things with her mind, but she is also an extremely powerful telepath; meaning she can also read people's minds. Jean is one of the most powerful mutants in the Marvel Universe. As a child, when first brought to Professor Xavier, he realized how powerful she was and put psionic (mental) shields in her brain to keep her from using her telepathy and telekinesis at full power until she was old enough to control it. Once she trained and was old enough to remove the shields, Jean became a founding member of the X-Men along with future husband Cyclops, Iceman, Beast, and Angel. Jean's dedication and loyalty along with her powers made her the first mutant to be possessed by the Phoenix Force. A sentient cosmic entity of limitless power that manifests itself as a giant bird made out of cosmic fire. As Phoenix, Jean was one of the most powerful beings in all of the Marvel Comics Universe. She was, however, manipulated by Mastermind (a bad guy with the power to project images into people's mind, and thus using them to do his bidding) into becoming the Black Queen of the Hellfire Club (a bunch of X-Men villains). When she was finally able to reject Mastermind's projections, she sent him into a coma and then went insane becoming The Dark Phoenix and enemy of the X-Men. Now, Jean didn't always have the Phoenix Force and therefore will not in this battle, BUT her abilities without the Phoenix Force are comparable to Darth Vader.

Overview: If ever these two were to meet, it would be quite a battle. Vader is ruthless and calculating. He does not let emotion get in the way and has no problem with inflicting pain. Using the force, he would be able to detect Jean's abilities, but would also underestimate them. Physically, Vader would be the aggressor; attempting to keep Jean distracted with physical attacks. He would count on the force to protect him from psionic attack. Jean would have to use a lot of her concentration on maintaining a psionic force field to keep her safe from Vader's physical attacks. But using Vader's confidence against him, she would find a way into his brain and find a weakness.

The FIGHT:

It's a beautiful sunny day in Westchester, New York. Outside Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, Jean Grey waves goodbye to the last of the X-Men for some much needed downtime. It doesn't happen often for them, so when the chance to take some time off comes up, they take it. This time it's Jean's turn to stay home and make sure the X-Mansion stays in one piece.

After a nice peaceful jog around the school grounds, Jean looks up to the sky to admire the setting sun. She squints to see what looks like a tiny dot in the distance. The dot is getting bigger by the second until the dot turns into the shape of a TIE INTERCEPTOR. The ship stops and hovers in mid air about 100 yards from her and then lands. A landing ramp descends from the bottom of the ship and Darth Vader slowly walks down.

Jean takes a moment to behold this intimidating presence. She doesn't need telepathic powers to know that this guy is dangerous. She scans him anyway, but can't get a reading. "Ahhh!" she screams in pain and thinks, "I can't read him. There's some kind of protective force surrounding him."

"You," says Vader. "You are a mutant. One of considerable power. I could have use for you. Come with me and I will teach you the ways of the Dark Side."

"Stay away from me!" yells Jean, as she turns to run away.

"So be it." says Vader. He raises his hand, palm up. Behind Jean a section of the mansion's roof becomes seperated from the rest of the building. Vader closes his hand into a fist and crushes the roof into a ball to show off his power. "Come with me or be destoryed, Mutant," he warns.

"Never!" Says Jean and she starts to run away. Vader hurls the building ball at Jean, attempting to crush her. But just in the nick of time, Jean is able to throw up a force field, protecting her from being crushed.

Vader stalks forward, using the force to scan for signs of life. Jean is fine, but she knows that she can't stay where she is under the rubble. While still keeping her shield up, Jean focuses as hard as she can telepathically. Reaching out for any way into Vader's mind. Once again she finds resistance. "There's no way in, this force of his is all encompassing. There's no way around it," she thinks to herself. "I'm guessing he has to concentrate like I do. So how about a little distraction?"

Vader is closing in on Jean, when suddenly the rubble explodes sending debris straight at Vader. It happens so quickly and with such force that Vader is overwhelmed and is hurdled back.

"The force is strong with you," Vader says as he gets back to his feet. "But your abilities are still no comparison to the power of the dark side."

"Buddy, I don't know what you are talking about." replies Jean. "Why don't you just get back in your space ship before somebody gets hurt."

Vader turns and notices that his TIE Interceptor is hovering behind him with guns trained on him. "This is no game, girl." says Vader coldly. He turns and faces Jean, crossing his arms. The Interceptor then slowly turns and flies towards Jean, laser fire landing all around her. Jean has no choice but to use her force field again. A missle launches and detonates next to her, throwing her through the air. It's taking nearly all of her energy to keep the force field from failing. The laser fire intensifies, pushing the Jean in her bubble like force field half a foot into the ground. With a last ditch effort, Jean throws out her hand, reaching with her telekinesis to grab Vader's breathing apparatus on his chest. Using all of her might, she crushes the box. The laser fire stops and the Interceptor crashes to the ground as Vader crumples to his knees, grabbing at his chest. Jean, catching her breath, stands and focuses her energy on Vader's breathing, choking him.

Vader can't breathe, but yet he does not panic. He meditates for a moment, refocusing his energy, allowing the force to sustain him. But then suddenly he stops and directs every ounce of force energy to force grab Jean by the throat. Both combatants are now using all their might to choke the other. Vader's hand goes from what looks like a choke hold to a closed fist, and suddenly Jean's throat and brain stem is crushed in an instant. Her head tilts to one side before her body crumples to the floor.

Vader stands, redirecting the force to help him breathe again. He looks down at Jean's lifeless body and casually hits a button on his belt, calling for an evac.

Winner: Darth Vader. Because, as strong as Jean is, Vader is right. Her power is still no match against the power of the dark side.