***DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU DON'T WANT THE MOVIE SPOILED.****
Oh man, where to start here?...
So, I've been waiting for this movie for 30 years. Ever since I was a little kid, playing with my Super Powers Action Figures, I have dreamt of a movie starring two of my favorite super heroes of all time. Batman and Superman; well, last night I finally got my wish and I can sum up my viewing experience with two words:
SQUANDERED OPPORTUNITY.
Yeah, doesn't sound very promising huh? I know. Let me start with the good points, because there are some really good things.
1. Ben Affleck is the best part of this movie. His Batman is THE MOST comic book accurate depiction of Batman we have ever seen on screen. He is awesome, he plays the part perfectly and I can't wait to see his solo Batman movies. I read a week or so ago, that Ben did some script rewrites on set for his character. You can tell, but I'll get to that. Batman had the best scenes in the whole movie.
2. Wonder Woman. I have always liked her character and this movie uses her very well, as limited as her screen time was. She effectively teased a much my complicated and cool character, and made me interested in her first solo film. She also has some of the best action sequences in the movie as well, right up there with Batman.
3. The action! Easily best part of the whole movie. Zach Snyder is an absolute hack, but he does know how to make shit look cool and he showed off that talent throughout the movie. The visual effects were great, and almost...ALMOST were enough to save the movie.
And not topping the chart of good stuff, but a strong runner up is Henry Caville's Superman. He does a good job as the character, but he does not have a lot to work with. And with that let's get into the bad stuff...
1. Right off the bat (no pun intended) we get Batman's fucking origin story. Again. So right away the audience is getting something they have seen at least 2 different times on screen; more if they've seen the DC animated movies, or the Batman animated tv shows. The point is that even novice fans know that Batman's parents were killed during a robbery and that is his motivation to fight crime. We all know it, so why do we need to be reminded again?
This is just the beginning of the problems we get in the writing. The biggest problem is actually one of the first things you learn about in story writing: character motivation. I was confused throughout the entire movie as to what was motivating these characters to behave the way they were. The most fleshed out character was Batman; you could tell Snyder was excited to have Batman in this movie, because he's really at the center of everything.
Superman seems to get a bug up his ass about Batman's treatment of criminals in Gotham City. Perry White has a line that sums it up perfectly, "No one cares about Clark Kent going up against the Batman." Yeah, I know, "But, Mike, the movie is called Batman V. Superman! We all wanna see them fight!" Yeah, of course we do, but come on, we also know they're going to get over it and team up. My point is that when they actually do fight, you're kind of left thinking, "uh, why didn't they talk about anything first?" There are certain parts that you can tell where Affleck rewrote some lines, you can just hear the difference. It's strange, but also makes me hopeful for the future solo Batman flicks.
The writing overall just feels clunky, like things were just thrown together. You never feel like there is a flow to the movie. Just one part after another.
Lex Luthor's behaviour and motivation is the most confounding. He has no backstory, which is unfortunate because Eisenberg goes balls out with his performance. He really goes for it, but I can't say he nailed it because we have NO IDEA WHO THIS GUY IS. Goyer, Terrio, and Snyder (the writers and Director) seem to go off the assumption that the audience knows who these characters are and what they are like. This doesn't work though when you are introducing an audience to a brand new expanded universe. For one thing Eisenberg plays Alexander Luthor Jr. or Lex II, his father is the billionaire genius who founded LexCorp (or at least I think that's how it is). So Eisenberg's Luthor Jr. seems like a spoiled rich kid who's also a bit eccentric. No further character description is given. Also, it seemed like the Joker was originally intened to be in the movie but was cut and then combined with Luthor. Because Eisenberg seems to be playing The Joker rather than Lex Luthor, but I digress.
2. There are many parts of the film that just seemed to be shoved in for the hell of it. I described the movie as having "lots of cool parts, but we didn't get enough info during those cool parts". There was too much bull shit in between scenes featuring cool shit. Understand what I mean? No? Ok. For example: Holly Hunter is in this movie. She plays a Junior Senator from Kentucky and is in charge of the Senate hearings about (and I'm guessing here because it's not made very clear in the movie) the events of Man of Steel. There are several scenes involving Holly Hunter's character and Lex Luthor or another minor character, discussing something blah blah blah, I can't remember because I zoned out. Seriously, this happened several times. I found myself thinking about what I had to do the next day, and then smacking myself in the face because I was supposed to be watching an awesome movie. Yeah, I got bored. Several times. I wasn't happy about it.
3. Our heroes are murderers! I know the end of Man of Steel created a lot of controversy with Superman snapping Zod's neck. It also started a lot of great conversations about character development and modernization, as well as artists' interpretation and all that stuff. It was a solid plot point in Man of Steel, but Batman v. Superman it's just run of the mill. There's a scene (it's a dream, but still...) where Batman straight up shoots (WITH A FUCKING GUN!!!) like 15 people in a row. When we first meet Superman, saving Lois Lane, he murders a guy by flying him through not just 1 wall, but several walls! Also, Batman is seen with a gun in his hands more often than he's not! As a life long fan of the character, I am astounded. No guns and no killing is a major part of Batman's persona, and Snyder just threw it out the window.
4. This is my last negative point, it's also the one I had the biggest problem with. There was so much potential for this movie to be awesome and they threw it away. The coolest scenes (besides the action sequences) were the scenes teasing other elements of the expanded universe. SPOILER: Batman's nightmare on what looks like Apokolips, fighting a Darkseid influenced Superman and his army, along with Darkseid's Parademons. Very cool stuff, but it's just a dream Batman has. There is no talk about why he has this dream, or what it means. It's such a vivid dream, that you would think that the World's Greatest Detective would want to look into it a bit more, but no.
There is no post credits stinger scenes like in Marvel movies, because WB wants us all to know that they do things differently. So we get what should have been a sweet teaser scene in the middle of the movie, for no apparent reason. So were given 3 shorts featuring the next members of the Justice League. The Flash is caught on security camera that only has 2 angles; on the cash register where the robbery is happening and the refrigerator where Barry Allen is shopping for a cold drink and sees the robbery. Then we meet Aquaman in one of the dumbest looking and odd cameos I have ever seen. It's underwater footage of a shipwreck; we first see 2 glowing eyes peering out of the darkness, then Aquaman emerges; stares at the camera for a minute or so and then swims away. Ok...whatever. Jason Mamoa (who plays Aquaman) has been talking a lot about how we are going to love Aquaman. Well, not because of this cameo, it was soooooo dumb. Then we get Cyborg's entire origin including a glimpse of a motherbox (another Darkseid tease). They could have easily made this cameos so much cooler, or placed them better. Maybe even incorporated them into the script, but no.
The worst part of not utilizing the potential is Batman's fight with Superman. He really beats the shit out of him, but in the laziest way a writer could possibly describe. I can honestly say that most fun I have had during my wait time for this movie is the conversations about how Batman could beat Superman. I have talked about this ad nauseum with whomever would ask and I have loved every bit. Well, Snyder and Co. had the opportunity to make Batman look like a total smart bad ass and they decided to dial it in. Batman relies almost entirely on kryptonite and his kryptonite gas gun to fight Superman. He uses one other gadget that fails immediately, and then it's all armor and krptonite. I was so disapointed. However, the fight itself makes up for it, because it's still pretty cool.
So, what's the bottom line here? Did I like it? Did I hate it? Well, neither really. I definitely didn't hate it, but I didn't love it. There was much to like about this movie and liked the shit out of that stuff, but there was also plenty to hate too.
I went in not expecting a great movie and that's what I got. So final conclusion. I'm giving this a 6 out of 10. It warrents another viewing, and I stand by my previous statement: I will watch this movie 1000 times.
I will own it and analyze it, but I have serious concerns over the future of the DC Extended Universe. I was on the fence about Suicide Squad, and now I don't have much hope for it at all. One positive thing that this movie did: it made Captain America: Civil War look like it will be fantastic.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far. I appreciate it. Be sure to leave me a comment on here or Facebook (Super Nerdy News) or Twitter (@SuperNerdyNews) about your feelings on the movie. This was a big one for me. 30 years in the making, so I'll be happy to talk about it some more, as well as the future installments of the DCEU.
Next up is Captain America: Civil War, see ya next month with that review.
ONE LAST THING: You can't help but compare this movie and Man of Steel to the Marvel movies. And WB is going out of their way to make sure you see the difference between the studios. But I believe, in their effort to differentiate themselves, they kind of shot themselves in the foot. Comic book movies are meant to take on the feel of their source material. Marvel Studios has done a wonderful job of this (even if you don't like the Marvel films, you have to admit they are well made and keep their fans in mind while making them). WB and the creators of the new DCEU seem to be saying to us, "we know what we are doing, just let us make the movies, you'll get them when we give them to you." Not the best attitude, because after seeing this movie Snyder and Co. clearly don't seem to know what they're doing. Anyway, thanks for reading! See you next time!
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